(dramatic) senior year

happy shaum ramadhan for all muslims all over the world! so glad and grateful to meet again with this year's ramadhan. i always love the holy vibes and the family bonding time in this month. and also spend time with friends to breakfasting together. and also shorter school hours. so yeah i've been being so-called sleepy head lately. since the pretty long term holiday, i'd likely to spend my day to sleep because i stayed up all night long. i don't know why can't i sleep before 12 or even 1 a.m during holiday.......and in this month since my holiday has declared over and i had to go back to school but i can go home earlier so i could sleep for few hours. (except if i have homeworks to do) ookayy once more, happy fasting, people. have a better ramadhan this year!;-)


OH. SENIOR YEAR.

efffff. i can't even. *sigh* i am happy, unhappy, worry, scared, in denial, excited, and stressed at the same time. so happy that i went through the eleventh grade pretty well. a bit unhappy that i have to leave my former classmates. worry and scared...about some subjects yea i'm not smart what if i can't make good scores and enter the university i want and make a happy ending for my high school years. what ifs, what ifs. in denial...i think i'm not ready for this and i don't even know when will i ready and can i ever be ready. excited....yes because i'm going to have a new life, meet new people out there when i'm older and go to college that's just exciting to feel new experiences. stressed. AAARGH about tests of course. haven't got any of them actually but i am already stressed with the thoughts of them.
about my new class and classmates. so far all is well. i met old faces and some new faces too. i hope this is going to be good and hilarious bcs we're going to go through the 9 or 8 months together! and btw i'm no longer a chairmate of atha and she's no longer mine too:( i'm on 12 science 3 and she's 12 science 4.
besides, it's hard you know, and going to be harder further. gonna have more arguments with my parents especially mom about university and school stuff. surely hard when you're 17 and you have to keep up with these crappy things while having your rebellious phase of your life, or you know, the climax of your mood swings & rebellion as a teenager. gonna be massive.
i have no preparation. i just have dreams and expectations and prayers.
but soon i will be ready for these craaapppss. just wish me mega tons of luck. to face the senior year.