The Big Shift

I believe that words are (likely) volatile. Words that we arrange inside our head, words that we’ve never spoken to anyone, even spoken words can be volatile too. That’s why I love to write; to crystalize words that often pop and cram inside my head. It’s always been easier that way. 

Gue inget dulu pernah ngepost di blog ini bahwa gue akan cerita gimana hari pertama gue kerja. So this is it. Looking forward to the day where the future me reading this, reminiscing the old days of being a first-jobber. (tapi yakin gak akan se-malu gue yang sekarang baca-baca post jaman sekolahan dulu) 

Not going to be specific about my first day, actually. Tapi sedikit cerita soal pertama kali terjun ke dunia kerja. 

Kalau ada orang yang nanya soal lowest point of my life, I’d say, without a doubt, adalah setelah wisuda Sarjana sampai at least gue dapet kesempatan ngantor. Sejauh ini ya. For me it was one hell of a big shift. Second half of 2018 was so devastating for me. Faktor salah satunya adalah karena gue harus menyibukkan diri dengan jobseeking, yang mana bagi gue gak mudah. Banyak hal-hal yang miris kalo diinget, miris tapi lucu. Lucu karena udah lewat dan kalo sadar bahwa doa-doa pada masa itu akhirnya dikabulkan. 

Fast forward to my first day at the office, it was pretty good. Waktu itu gue ngantor pertama kali as an Intern. Kakak yang “membimbing” gue waktu itu was very warm and welcoming, ngenalin gue ke orang-orang yang ada di departemen gue. It was one simple moment yang akan gue inget seumur hidup kayaknya, when I thought to myself “Wah gue akhirnya ngantor”. I even remember what I wore that day! (I have this weird habit of remembering what I wore on memorable moments, mostly my first times). The industry I’m in is…exquisite. Sebelumnya gue bahkan gak tau kalo ada pekerjaan kayak yang gue lakuin sekarang, which is why it was kind of surreal. Challenging, to say the least.

Setelah jadi Intern selama beberapa bulan, dikasih kesempatan buat jadi permanent employee. Up to this day, I’ve had two performance reviews. Cepet banget rasanya, ya? Banyak banget hal-hal yang gue pelajarin, yang gue lewatin, dan jadi milestones karir gue. I don’t want to romanticize anything about this but I am truly grateful of the opportunity. 

Ada hal-hal yang mungkin bagi orang lain adalah hal kecil yang gue rasa sebagai “reward” dari Tuhan. Misalnya how this job requires me to travel quite a lot (back then before the pandemic ya). Growing up in a family (and as an individual) which rarely travels, gue seneng akhirnya bisa jalan-jalan ke berbagai daerah yang belum pernah gue datengin, walaupun judulnya dinas. Just like any other job that people get to deal with, tentu saja ada masa-masa hepi dan gak hepi. Udah ngerasain tuh yang namanya hepi banget gara-gara berhasil ngelewatin Q4 2019, dan gak hepi alias nangis gara-gara kerjaan, nangis di toilet, nangis di ojol, nangis di Grab (kek nangis mulu idup gue). Tapi momen-momen nangis selalu cathartic buat gue. Don’t forget to bounce back after you bawl your eyes out, guys. 

 

Salah satu foto pas outstation ke Kediri tahun lalu. I kinda miss outstation and feeling disoriented at the airport while also acting like I get my sh*t together. 

Selain itu, bisa ketemu sama macem-macem orang yang bikin gue kagum, bikin jiper, bikin terpacu, bikin kesel juga pasti ada. Tapi selama semua bisa dijadiin pelajaran, yaa yaudah. 

When it comes to the job, just do it in your best way possible and conserve the energy for your personal well-being, rather than taking anyone else’s wrongdoing too seriously to the point where it drains you (still learning it). 

Another part of my job which I love, is get to keep writing like this, btw. Though the big purpose of my job is literally minding anyone else's business.

So how’s the career-life? I’m striving, and taking my time to enjoy the small joyous things. While also pondering about the future, letting my mind branches out wildly with full of hope and anxiety.