Two Cents on "Modern Dating"

“Why this need to make strangers fall in love with me?”

— Yasmine, Modern Love, Season 1: At the Hospital, an Interlude of Clarity

The overall story of this episode of Modern Love may not be relevant enough for this post. BUT I love this series! 

Nothing soothes thy soul more than love and laughter (and a bit of tears) combined, bb

Making connection seems easier these days. All due to the mighty dating apps. There was a time when I tried them out of curiosity (and a bit of desperation for a company as well). Anyway, I was (and still am) aware of (skewed to) negative social stigma of people who utilize dating apps but I tried it anyway so what about it?

I wouldn't deny that visual counts. That's the fundamental thing about dating apps that we're familiar with; it's strictly visual, at least at the first glance. You can tailor extensive profile of yours, putting the coolest or the most non-mainstream so-called favorite song on display, and still, eventually it all comes down to the looks sometimes. However, looks can be deceiving, right? In the end, people are just projecting the image they'd like others to believe (aren't we all though). Could be lies, could be just the cherry-picked stuff we want to disclose to make us look attractive enough.

I'm not opposed to the idea of finding someone actually potential from such apps. I know people (including a best friend, ahem) who found someone decent enough to marry out of that place...

...which is a tiny, minuscule, probability, I believe. I might call it luck.

Putting ourselves out there, meaning we are ready for all the consequences might come up, including ending up with the wrongs. It's a drab cycle of trial and error.

For some fleeting moments of awkward conversation and you both part ways, being strangers as you initially were. Or for days spent only to find that the person is just a big red flag so you got to run and still receiving cringe-worthy messages after. For tiring, repetitive cycle of throwing assumptions and being passive aggressive. For hours of your ears bleeding listening to some hubristic guy who prefers to do a long-ass speech of how he runs business on his own, rather than actually do a reciprocate communication. For being ghosted, et cetera.

Putting ourselves out there, meaning we acknowledge that the possibility of meeting the wrongs are much bigger than meeting the rights. 

The truth is, being on dating apps with low self esteem won't do you good. Dating, in general, will do you no good if you have low self esteem. It only creates misfortune. When you don't know what you want, lacking the sense of spotting red flags, you're an easy prey for those men who sense insecurity like a pro. You're prone to be manipulated.

What are we looking for, exactly? I think it would be better if the purpose AND the consequences are well-comprehended. Well-comprehended by oneself, and they do not have to be ~right~. Who am I to judge? Be it politically, or morally, or -ly wrong or right, at least you know the drill. Otherwise, you'd end up making unsound decisions. I learned it the hard way.